Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas

Coming to a city with alluring labels like “the Entertainment Capital of the World”, “the Ultimate Sin City”, or “the Brightest City on Earth”, would inevitably evoke a feeling of great anticipation, and this was exactly how I felt as I stepped out of the plane and treaded the terra firma of Las Vegas.

The short flight from Monterey was surprisingly smooth and the guide of Vegas provided on the plane only added to the anticipation. Well, the first thing to do would be securing a place to stay. I had already made a booking in Circus Circus, a circus-themed (surprise surprise) hotel located on the famous Las Vegas Strip which boasted 3,774 rooms and 9,833 m2 of casino area. It was not fancy, but it is one of the largest hotels in the world with more slot machines than you could ever need or want.

Okay, I have to say one thing about the slot machines: I think they’re all a scam, and exclusively built to rip you off! From what I read somewhere, slot machines are typically programmed to yield a “theoretical payout percentage”, which basically represents the amount of money you win back from your overall wager. The minimum number of percentage varies as typically established by law or regulation, and is 75% for the state of Nevada.


So let’s do the math then: I wagered my money that gave me 120 credits. That number would give me 120 one-credit chances of pulling the lever and trying to be richer. Well, I pulled and I pulled until my arm ached, but only ended up with 120 consecutive occasions of mismatched symbols. Statistically, is it even possible that a man like me (decent, hard-working, and good-looking) could be so down on his luck? Oh, well, at least I realized it on time and successfully refrain myself from chipping in another 120 credits.

Having squandered my government salary on gambling machines, I then proceeded to watch a topless, vampire-themed revue in the Stratosphere. The show was not spectacular, but I enjoyed it (4 out of 5), and it fittingly offered me a first bite of nocturnal Vegas. Afterwards, I thought, what’s the point of visiting THE Sin City if you don’t, well, sin? I always strive to keep up with the Joneses like a good Roman should. Hence, I checked out some of the vice-indulging activities Vegas had to offer, and settled on paying a visit to Sapphire, the so-called world’s largest nightclub. Well, I couldn’t care less about its size or practically much of anything else as soon as I stepped into the joint, though. The place was swarmed with beautiful people and the ambience was all girls, girls, girls. Details will be spared to protect the guilty. After all, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.