31.12.06

Reflections and Resolutions

As the midnight draws nearer, I couldn’t help but reminiscing all the things in 2006. Few are best forgotten, but most are fondly etched in my heart. There are no such things as bad experiences, only hard lessons.

If I measured the passing year with a weighing scale that had ‘failure’ plate on the left, and ‘achievement’ plate on the right, I could say that, overall, this has been a good year. I’ve had chances to go to new places and meet new faces. My work has been filled with new experience and adorned with a satisfying year-end work assessment from my boss. Surprise, surprise…

As a mere mortal, I inevitably stumbled upon failures and obstacles throughout the year. It’s a good thing that I remember more of the good things than bad ones, as this indicates a positive-thinking attitude, I guess. Thinking back, I only manage to recall one scholarship application that went up in smoke and one romantic request turned down. Nothing catastrophic, I got to keep my single status. LOL… Hey, at least I still have the second best thing in life.

My little sister got married, and it was one of the best things in 2006. My only regret was that I did not specifically express my wish when she asked what I’d wanted for her wedding, and ended up with a traditional knife and a piece of ulos.

On the grimmer note, there was some reality shock that gave me harsh reminders of mortality. A friend of mine died, and my father went through a cardiac surgery. Not pleasant memories, but everything happened for a reason.

Resolutions for 2007? There are many, as I am an ambitious person with the Grand Plan. Practically and realistically speaking, here are some things:

1. Getting my car to the garage and having it "remodeled". This is top priority, as my beloved car is making new, mysterious noise every week. 2006 has been - almost- a mechanical breakdown-free period, but I don't want to push my luck.

2. Finding a new place to live, where I can go home at any ungodly hour as I damn please.

3. Avoiding in every way possible to be reappointed as "Seksi Keamanan" or given the role of a drug-induced bouncer in Christmas play/celebration. Not good, might expel me from Santa's list. Moreover, I don't endorse violence, especially not on le plus beau des jours de l’année.

4. Retrieving the willpower to get up early every Saturday morning for my French lesson. My French did not progress significantly last year, and it might eventually ruin my next lesson: learning Spanish. On with the Grand Plan!


The ultimate resolution for 2007 would be getting myself en route towards adding three-letter label behind my name, with a major that is relevant to my current line of work. And, bien sûr, to tip my scale a little bit further to the right.

Happy new year, everyone! I hope your 2006 has been as good as mine, and may your 2007 be even better.

25.12.06

Le Plus Beau des Jours de L’Année

Noël est là! Ce joyeux Noël, des cadeaux plein les bras, qui réchauffe nos cœurs et apporte la joie, jour des plus beaux souvenirs, plus beau jour de l'année. -W.I.-

Joyeux Noël, tout le monde!

15.12.06

Happy Commuting in Jakarta

As recent as 1 month ago, I was still one of very few people in Jakarta who were blessed with convenient commuting. It usually took me 15 minutes – 20 minutes tops – in the morning to get from my place to the office, encountering only one traffic light. At night, I even got to choose from 2 alternatives: step on the pedal and speed through the deserted roads, or roll my window down and cruising lazily, puffing a cigarette. Eventually, either way will kill me, I guess. LOL.

How the good ol’ days are missed.

These days, I have to hustle and bustle for more than 45 minutes throughout the heavily packed roads, cursing other drivers with disturbing animosity and pounding incessantly on the horn to gain way.

It’s a good thing that nowadays motorcyclists are obliged to switch on their lights during daytime, as they are easier to spot in the rearview and side mirrors. Nonetheless, there were times when I felt an urging desire to hit a reckless motorcyclist on the face just for the heck of it. People, you are not immortal. And I don't have an insurance.

What amazes me even more; there are neither road works nor problems that could serve as bottlenecks. It just seems that more and more cars are pouring into less and less roads, and there will come a day when walking gets you somewhere faster than driving.

Until then, I wish everybody a happy commuting!

8.12.06

Until I Suffer Some

What is the most precious yet all-pervading?
What is the most selfish yet giving?
What is the most intoxicating yet humbling?
What is it that we all are searching?

To think that it is never impossible
To think that it endures
To constantly seek the love of someone
To be acquainted with, to be captivated
To venture, to enter
To persevere, to hope

The other half is a destiny
The reunion is a journey
My foresight is not the paramount
The courage is the jewel of the crown

I don't know know where I'm going
But I'm on my way..

6.12.06

American Pie

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But february made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ’n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin’,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Now for ten years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

They were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die."

-Don McLean-

16.11.06

Backbreaking Slumber

Much to my despair, I recently found out that there existed the term “backbreaking slumber”; pun intended. Every morning for the last few weeks or so, I have been waking up with an excruciating pain on my back.

Being a person with vivid imagination enriched by fairy tales from childhood, it crossed my mind to check under the mattress for the notorious pea. Unfortunately, I only managed to encounter some innocent-looking bed bugs, which unlikely were the culprit of my distress.

Of course, this would not serve as a plausible reason on my being late almost everyday to the office. I am not much of an early riser, and my visions are better at night. Having said that, I am really worried about this unexplainable pain.

Maybe I ought to have some exercise, like my folks always tell me to do. Maybe I should cut down on those delicious, mouth-watering red meat and seafood. Maybe I need to see a physiotherapist. Maybe I have a hidden, malicious, alien manifestation on my spinal tap. Or maybe I just need to buy new mattress and pillows.

9.11.06

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.


All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they each miss someone very special, someone who was left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; her eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, she breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...


-Author Unknown-

7.11.06

Odd Koontz

As I turned the last page of Koontz’s Forever Odd, an inevitable comparison came to mind. Somehow, as usually the case with a sequel, Forever Odd is a bit less satisfying than Odd Thomas. It is still a good read, though.

A memorable excerpt from the novel: "beauty that steals the heart is often imperfect, suggests grace and kindness, and inspires tenderness more than it incites lust". Hmm, kind of reminds me of someone. =)

I have been reading Koontz for almost 5 years now, with more than 20 titles in collection and still counting. Koontz has an inimitable knack to keep me riveted to his pages, with his rich and smart vocabulary. I also enjoy his witty, sometimes black, sense of humor. Despite the fact that his books are usually placed on “Science Fiction/Thriller/Horror” shelves in major bookstores, reading any of Koontz books never fails to incite an occasional smile or delighted laughter. After all, reading is supposed to be something soothing, not depressing.

In essence, Koontz never fails to deliver because he stays true to the following features:

Koontz is an avid dog lover, and if you are a dog lover yourself, you should see Trixie, his golden retriever. Guaranteed to make you smile. Koontz’s “fatherly love” for dogs is also clearly highlighted in virtually all of his books: the book credits e.g. Forever Odd is dedicated to Trixie, “an angel on four feet”; the feature of canines as the protagonists in many of his books e.g. in Fear Nothing, The Taking, One Door Away from Heaven, and of course, Watchers; and the author’s jacket photograph that often features the grinning Trixie.

Cats, on the other hand, have often fared worse in his novels (I read that Mr. Koontz is allergic to felines). Though cats do appear occasionally, these are usually cameo roles and seldom the protagonists. Perhaps two notable exceptions would be the smart feline Mungojerrie in the Christopher Snow novels and Terrible Chester of the Pico Mundo. Hey, this brings up to mind an old question: What’s the difference between dogs, cats, and pigs? Answer: Dogs look up to you, cats look down on you, and pigs look you in the eyes and treat you as equal.

In addition, no matter how seemingly fantastic the novel begins, Koontz usually, more often than not, attempts to give plausible, logical, and consistent explanations. These elucidations often come in unique genetic traits or natal conditions. I am grateful for his efforts, as I'd hate to find his books on "Fantasy" section.

Koontz also believes in the ideal of that love and compassion can save one life from the apparent absurdities of existence and the cruelties of life. Perhaps Koontz suffers from an enduring naïveté, in which he insists on seeing the world as black and white; good and evil; joys and sorrows; above and below (yet another line from Forever Odd springs up: "ascending to the darkness"). Almost an oxymoron.


His "naïveté" also materializes in a “happy ending” for most of the main characters, which is one of the main reasons for me to keep reading his books. I mean, what's the point of laughing out loud throughout the book and brooding at the end?

The bottom line, I recommend Koontz’s novels if you either are:

- An upholder of dreams and perseverance.
- A naïve who has a strong belief in the eventual triumph of good over evil.
- A novel enthusiast with a taste for a good tale with a happy ending.
- A dog lover who wants to take the daring adventures of Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, or Snowy, to the next level.
- Just idling on a Saturday night and in need of a literary yet entertaining companion.
______________________________________________________


Hope is the destination that we seek.
Love is the road that leads to hope.
Courage is the motor that drives us.
We travel out of darkness into faith.

The Book of Counted Sorrows, as quoted from Intensity.

3.11.06

The Weekend

Weekend..always brings hopes and dreams. Undying ones. I hope they still linger on Monday morning, with a big smile on my face.

À lundi, tout le monde.

2.11.06

A Not-So Beautiful Mind

Are you familiar with Game Theory? In rare cases that you are not, click here. Anyway, people have won Nobel Prize for this, people like John Nash. His name might ring a bell from the Academy Award-winning film, A Beautiful Mind.

Say, let’s imagine you’re hanging out at the local bar. Be it in a hip, upscale club or a shady, two-bit joint, the setup is always the same. The women are concentrated towards the center of any location while the men hover eagerly around the periphery, like vultures.

As you may already be aware by now, women don’t go out to the bars alone (or toilets, for that matter). There are always going to be at least 2 or 3 friends along with them. As they settle comfortably around the center, the men will encircle them and slowly come in for the kill. The nature will stipulate that they will prey on the most attractive women in the bar. Like clockwork, there will always be a woman that is clearly more attractive than all of her friends. Each man will make his approach at the attractive female, and one by one, they will all be rejected.

This should come as no surprise, as the most attractive woman is used to any kind of advance you might think of. By chasing the most attractive female, that male has automatically lost out on winning over her friends.

It’s not rocket science. (Though, to understand women, you’ll need much, much, more than rocket science).

Now, Nash states that rational self-interest hurts everyone, and instead, everyone wins through cooperative games. So if you’re out with a couple friends at a bar and you see that one attractive woman hanging around, remember that she has probably been hit on the entire night and already eluded some of the best. Sure we want the most attractive catch, but remember that there is only one of them and many of you. If everyone goes after the one girl, nobody will win because each will attempt to undermine the other. On the contrary, if you decide to go for her friends instead, everyone can come out a winner in the end.

Is that right?

That brings up the questions of the day (and don't worry, they're not about women):

1. How do you define a winner?
2. Will you settle for the number two, (or 3, 4, 5, .. for that matter) when you are just yearning and craving for the number one?

The two questions boil down to your own opinions and perceptions about what are usually taken for granted. Are you winning, when your prize is not the one that you aspire for? Are you feeling victorious, when the spoil you have secured is not the one that was on your dream?

I'll go for the dream every time. Chances are, I will fail more often than I thrive. Failures are failures. Despite what the quotes tell you, they are not deferred triumphs. But then again, how do you define a winner?

I'll share with you when I find the answers.


Disclaimer 1: The movie has been criticized for its inaccurate portrayal of Nash's life and schizophrenia as well as for the over-simplified representation of the famous Nash equilibrium. This was not the point put forth.

Disclaimer 2: Illustration using women in a bar was not meant to stereotype women. No woman was seriously hurt in the writing of this post.

31.10.06

Perseverance is incapacitating

The longer the wait, the bigger the prize.
The bigger the bait, the longer the lies.

I think I'll go home now.

30.10.06

Trivia of Life

The holiday’s over, and I’m back on my desk again. It didn’t go quite as I planned, the holiday, as I missed sleep almost every night. Highlights on a sunny side: Rooney scored a hat-trick (what’s that? Rooney can’t score? Ah, you mean Roonaldo? Yes yes, poor fella); a movie about a stoned, bad-tempered hitman going berserk (Oy!); a book on people (talking about trivia of life!); a blind date with a late karaoke session; a reunion with a bunch of old friends; endless hours of WE, from dusk till dawn; and restless sleeps battered by mosquitoes and weird dreams.

One thing about a holiday, you think of nothing and everything at the same time. My little sister’s wedding's coming up, and I’m very happy for her. What’s with all the jokes and banters about me being left behind? I wasn’t aware that we were in a race. Everything’s beautiful on its own time.

On a grimmer tone, a friend of mine died the other day. No premonitions, no warnings, only goodbyes. It was no more than two weeks ago that I played pool with him. It was a small gathering of friends, a send-off to bid farewell and good luck as he was being assigned to another city. Little we knew the real meaning of the farewell. Actually, I didn’t feel like coming as I was worn out from work and was already on my way home. But some friends insisted that I should come and drop by to meet him.

So I came and met him. We played some pool, and I teasingly asked him about marriage, and he laughed. He said, “Whoever gets to score first will let the other know, ok?” I said ok, we shook hands, hugged, promised to stay in touch, and I took my leave.

Two weeks later, I got the news about his demise. I wanted to cry, couldn’t. I wanted to ask why, didn’t want to. Death is unforgiving and nonnegotiable. Life is frail and trivial. But it is the trivia of life that makes the ride worthwhile. So, I said a quiet prayer for him and wished him everything good that he overlooked in this life. I will miss him. He was a friend, a smoking buddy, and a good person. After all, only the good die young.

Time marches on.

20.10.06

Happy Eid El Fitr!

Last office day before the long holiday of Lebaran! Have a joyous Eid El Fitr, guys..
I am planning to hibernate myself throughout the week..

19.10.06

Champions League Updates

Highlights from the Champions League Matchday 3:

Chelsea 1 - 0 Barcelona (sh*t happens)
Sporting 0 - 1 Bayern (Ollie's still one of the best goalies around, despite what Lehmann thinks)
Bordeaux 0 - 1 Liverpool (the RoboCrouch did it again!)
Steaua 1 - 4 Real Madrid (the only silver lining was that Ruudje became the third player to score 50 goals in the European Champion Clubs' Cup)
Man United 3 - 0 København (Scholes, O'Shea, and Richardson. Go for the title!)
CSKA Moskva 1 - 0 Arsenal (M. Henry, vous avez vraiment besoin de trouver une nouvelle équipe)


17.10.06

The Departed

Time : Tuesday, 17 October 2006 16.30
Venue : Corner of the office, behind piles of papers
Ambiance : A lazy, quiet, and dull afternoon

Pff, so it's 4.30 PM, and I'm the only soul here. Besides the janitor, of course. Office life has been sluggish these days.

So yesterday I went to see "The Departed" with a bunch of friends. As usual, I already had with me a scoop of what the critics had to say about the movie. Some quotes: "Scorsese won't be winning any Oscars for this movie, as it's too hard, too pulpy, and too good. A relentlessly violent, breathtakingly assured piece of mean-streets filmmaking, the film shows the legendary director dropping the bids for industry respectability that have preoccupied him over the past decade and doing what he does best: burrow to the agonized heart of criminality and let the blood and guilt splatter where they may."

Well, at least the critics gave you a fair warning. It was a movie with incessant scenes of heads got blown away here and there. Not a novelty from a Scorsese's, of course. But I was a little irritated with his head fetish, indeed when Wahlberg blew Damon's sorry brain off, I bellowed at the screen: Hey, give us something fresh and shoot the guy in the chest!

I heard that "The Departed" is actually a remake from the Hongkongese "Infernal Affairs". It's not a bad remake, but I hope that this does not signify that Hollywood is running out of original ideas, or worse, losing talents to make them better.

Don't Damn Me

Don't damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
'Cause I've been where I have been
An I've seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
'Cause it's all a part of me

Be it a song or casual conversation
To hold my tongue speaks
Of quiet reservations
Your words once heard
They can place you in a faction
My words may disturb
But at least there's a reaction

Sometimes I wanna kill
Sometimes I wanna die
Sometimes I wanna destroy
Sometimes I wanna cry
Sometimes I could get even
Sometimes I could give up
Sometimes I could give
Sometimes I never give a f*ck

It's only for a while
I hope you understand
I never wanted this to happen
Didn't want to be a man
So I hid inside my world
I took what I could find
I cried when I was lonely
I fell down when I was blind

How can I ever satisfy you
An how can I ever make you see
That deep inside we're all somebody
An it don't matter who you wanna be
But now I gotta smile I hope you comprehend
For this man can say it happened
'Cause this child has been condemned
So I stepped into your world
I kicked you in the mind
An I'm the only witness
To the nature of my crime

But look at what we've done
To the innocent and young
Whoa listen to who's talking
'Cause we're not the only ones
The trash collected by the eyes
And dumped into the brain
Said it tears into our conscious thoughts
You tell me who's to blame

I know you don't wanna hear me cryin'
An I know you don't wanna hear me deny
That your satisfaction lies in your illusion
But your delusions are yours and not mine
We take for granted we know the whole story
We judge a book by its cover
And read what we want
Between selected lines

Don't hail me
An don't idolize the ink
Or I've failed in my attentions
Can you find the missing link
Your only validation is living your own life
Vicarious existence is a f*cking waste of time
So I send this song to the offended
I said what I meant and I've never pretended
As so many others do intending just to please
If I damned your point of view
Could you turn the other cheek

(Slash / Lank / Rose)